A Parent’s Journey with PANS/PANDAS

By Nationally Board-Certified Functional Medicine Health Coach and Mom Colette Chandler

If you are reading this, chances are you or someone you love is facing the heartbreaking reality of PANS or PANDAS. I know this road all too well—I have walked it myself as a mother. One of our daughters went through years of symptoms of PANS without us even realizing that is what it was.

For us, it showed up in her behavior. It started with clothes being too itchy despite putting on many layers, to OCD-type behaviors such as not being able to handle even a simple, “No,” without continuing to push back for sometimes 45 minutes to try to get what she wanted. There were times she seemed disconnected from reality with a glossy stare as if she wasn’t even with us. I remember her running into oncoming traffic over and over again— terrifying moments that left me feeling helpless and desperate for answers. Then her rage began, and it never made sense to me as you just couldn’t talk to her. I remember even taking her to behavior management classes. They’d tell me she knew what to do and had the tools, but she just couldn’t do it. We had no idea back then that we even had mold again in our home and that her exposure to it contributed to her getting sick.

What is PANS/PANDAS?

PANS (Pediatric Acute-onset Neuropsychiatric Syndrome) and PANDAS (Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorders Associated with Streptococcal Infections) are conditions that can cause sudden and severe changes in a child’s behavior, mood, and overall health. Symptoms may include obsessive-compulsive behaviors, anxiety, rage episodes, depression, motor tics, and even regression in developmental milestones. These conditions are believed to be triggered by infections, environmental factors, or immune system dysfunction, leading to brain inflammation and neurological symptoms.

I know the exhaustion, the fear, and the overwhelming sense of helplessness in dealing with this illness. But I also know that there is hope. While this journey is not easy, you can find ways to support your child and yourself. Here are some of the things that helped me and my family navigate this difficult path.

  1. Reframe and Clear Your Mind

When your child is in crisis, your mind can become clouded with fear, anxiety, and self-doubt. One of the best things you can do is shift your perspective. This is not your child’s true self; this illness has taken hold, but it does not define them. When you start to spiral, take a deep breath and remind yourself: We will get through this. My child is still here, and healing is possible.

  1. Prioritize Self-Care

You cannot pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself is not selfish—it is necessary. Whether it is a short walk outside, a cup of tea in silence, or five minutes of deep breathing, find moments for yourself every single day. When you are depleted, your patience and resilience suffer. Make self-care a priority, because your well-being directly impacts your ability to support your child.

  1. Keep Things Simple & Organized

Your mind is already overwhelmed, so make things easier on yourself. Keep a binder with tabs to track medications, supplements, and doctor notes. Create a spreadsheet to track symptoms and improvements. The last thing you want is to search for critical information in a moment of crisis. Also, simplify your life where you can—this is not the time to take on extra commitments. Give yourself permission to say no to anything that does not serve your immediate family’s needs.

  1. Let Go of Shame & Judgment

One of the hardest parts of this journey is the misunderstanding from others. People who have never experienced PANS/PANDAS may judge your parenting or assume your child is just being “difficult.” Let that go. This is not your fault, and this is not your child’s fault. Protect your energy and focus on what truly matters—supporting your family.

  1. Support Your Body with the Right Supplements

Your stress levels are higher than ever, which means your body needs extra support. Adrenal supplements like Micro Balance Health Product’s Adrenal Boost can help balance your stress response. If sleep is an issue (for you or your child), Ahh Sleep may be helpful. It is a homeopathic spray that may be taken before bed or throughout the night to help you fall back asleep. It has no melatonin and will not make you groggy the next day. Also, consider:

Your body is going through a marathon—give it the tools it needs to stay strong.

  1. Hold Onto Hope & Journal Your Journey

There will be dark days. There will be moments where you wonder if things will ever get better. But I promise you, there is hope. Start a video or written journal to document your experiences. Not only will this help you process your emotions, but it will also allow you to look back and see the progress you may not recognize in the moment. Celebrate the small wins—a moment of clarity, a peaceful day, a step toward healing.

  1. Find Support

This journey is not meant to be traveled alone. Seek out positive support groups that understand what you’re going through. Consider group coaching (I offer this) to connect with other parents. Look into pill-swallowing coaches or functional medicine practitioners who specialize in PANS/PANDAS. Having the right people in your corner can make all the difference.

  1. Keep Nutrition Simple & Healing

Now is not the time for complicated meals, but food still plays a huge role in emotional stability and healing. Try to keep meals clean and nourishing:

  • Evening: Complex carbs like beans or sweet potatoes can help increase serotonin and promote better sleep.
  • Morning: Green tea can provide gentle energy and help reduce anxiety.
  • Night: Chamomile or other calming teas can help relax the nervous system.

Even small dietary changes can support the healing process for both you and your child.

  1. Be Okay Walking Away

When your child is in a rage or meltdown, emotions can run high. Step away if you need to. Put your child in a safe space and allow yourself a moment to breathe. This is not neglect; this is self-preservation. You need to regulate yourself first before you can help regulate them.

  1. Practice Relaxation Techniques

Stress is unavoidable, but you can learn to manage it. Try incorporating:

  • 4-7-8 Breathing: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8.
  • Alternative Nostril Breathing: A calming technique that balances the nervous system.
  • Mindful Transitions: Before shifting to a new task, pause, take a deep breath, and reset.
  • Nature Breaks: Step outside, feel the sun, breathe in fresh air—it makes a difference.

Final Thoughts: You Will Get Through This

Right now, you may feel like life is unraveling. But I promise you, this journey will shape you in ways you never expected. You will discover a strength you never knew you had. You will learn to appreciate the small victories. And you will come out the other side with more wisdom, more resilience, and a deeper connection with your child.

This season will not last forever. Keep going. Keep believing. Healing is possible. And above all, know that you are not alone.

If you need help and support from someone who has been in your shoes before, go here to book a free, 15-minute discovery call or to learn more about my group coaching program, www.bewellwithcolette.com.

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